Just Some Thoughts
by waterrain
Summary: Merlin's thoughts and feelings. WARNING SPOILERS FOR SEASON ONE AND SEASON TWO EP 1.


I do not own Merlin. This chapter is in Merlin's view.

-----------

It does hurt when Arthur does not believe me when I tell him the truth and for after all I'm only trying to help. I keep on a smile and hope that he will finally see the truth. It was like a dagger through my heart when he believed Cedric over me, but it can only be expected with Arthur.

Arthur the future King of Camlet and he does have a long way to go. He was a lot worse at the start and he has gotten better, but Arthur tends to have relapses.

I lost count on how many times I saved Arthur and it does not matter for I do not try to keep count. It is my density to help Arthur and protect him even from himself. It does get to be tiring, but I do not let it show.

I still remember what I told the dragon when he told me about my destiny and I had replied 'It can't be this Arthur he's an idiot.' or something along those lines.

At times I find Arthur to be brave, selfless, but at sometimes he is selfish along with being an idiot. Such as when Arthur had decided to kill a unicorn and I mean he was just asking for some trouble when he killed the unicorn. Plus the one time I told the truth about being a wizard, Arthur just laughed, and was like No way along with saying that I was in love. I felt a bit insulted, but that was just like Arthur.

Sometimes he treats me as a friend, but at other times as a servant. It is like jumping up and down, but at other times it is like trying to jump up and down at the same time. I try not to think of it since that thought process is too confusing and it is best not to think too deeply into it. I'm willing to die for Arthur and one of the reasons is that I believe he will become a great King.

I get called all kinds of names by Arthur and I do not let it bother me too much. I know that I'm clumsy and a bit clueless, but not as clueless as Arthur. Honestly, how can he not notice when something wrong is going around the castle not until it becomes an issue and usually not believing me about what is going on until he saw it for himself.

What would I gain from lying to Arthur expect being in the stocks, but I'm use to the stocks. When I had to lie to the King about where Arthur decided to go such as the time he went with the woman who wanted to have his soul and I ended up in the stocks for lying. I'm not good at lying and I end up in the stocks. However I'm good at keeping my important secret which is that I have magic.

I can't ask Arthur to choose between his father and me. I do not want to cause that at all along with the chance of being burned to the stake. I'm willing to die for Arthur and I do everything in my power to protect him.

I will not forget the terror that I felt when I knew Arthur was dying because of that blasted and I went to the Dragon for help for I knew that the Dragon knew how to save Arthur. I was willing to die in order to help him, but then it was turned to my Mother. Gaius went before I could go and I had to save him along with saving my Mother for Arthur was already saved.

I managed to save my Mother and Gaius. Arthur is still alive and I'm thankful. Arthur is still an ungrateful Prat, but it is in his nature to be one. Yet Arthur does have those 'nice' moments and afterwards I get a pile of work. Just because he can't be 'nice' without adding piles of work.

The King believes that I have some mental affliction and still believes it. No one believes that I'm a Sorcerer and Arthur of course made sure that it sounded even more unbelievable to other people, but the King had bought it. They even laughed at me and I at the time felt a bit offended, but I suppose that it was for the best.

I remember when Arthur risked his life for me, at the time I was poisoned, and I needed to have some kind of planet. My memory of that time is blurry, but I do know if it were not for Arthur I would have been dead. So far I keep on getting orders from both Arthur and Gaius along with the Dragon.

I still remember the final test that Arthur had to face because he just had to kill the poor unicorn. Honestly he just loves to hunt animals, but I do not like it one bit. It was bound to get him into trouble and I suppose the Unicorn was the last straw. I told him 'No', but did he listen to me. No he did not listen to me and oh what do you know Camelot get's cursed. Yeah he just couldn't leave the Unicorn alone and not kill it. Sure he got his Father's praise, but at what cost?

In the end Arthur tricked me by using the oldest trick in the book and telling me 'Merlin, I never listen to you.' Of course I already knew that Arthur hardly listens to me and it is annoying because I know that I'm right. Yet I still can't believe that I had fallen for that lame trick, but then again I thought Arthur was serious about seeing something. After he had drunk the liquid I thought he was dead and that my destiny was over for protecting Arthur since he was dead. I was beyond words when I found out that Arthur was not dead, but merely sleeping.

The best part in the whole 'Camelot is doomed' would have to be getting Arthur to eat one spoon full of the rat stew. I did not think that Arthur would catch on so soon and I was forced to eat some of it.

All in all life is never a dull moment in Camelot and I believe no wait I know that Uther Pendragon has a lot of enemies wanting to kill him along with wanting to killing Arthur because he is Uther's son.

At least it's not like things can get worst and more complex. Then again I might have just jinxed it with having such thoughts, but I should be able to handle it.

----------

Please Review and Thank You.


End file.
